Experiences with White Women

Or Why Assumptions Are a Bad Thing


There have been several instances when white women have flirted shamelessly with my husband in front of me. This can happen to any woman when she is with her boyfriend/husband in public but their approach was unusual. They would first scope out my husband from afar. They approached him and started up a conversation about nothing at all. Ice break technique. When I step forward to join the conversation, the woman attempts to weave an invisible shield between her and me leaving my husband and her in their own zone.

I know it sounds melodramatic but it’s how I feel. In my life I have ignored people so I know when I’m being ignored. The woman’s effort to make me disappear is only matched by her assumptions based on prejudice. She ASSUMES that we are not a couple or that I just happen to be talking to him when she approached. The more I try to interject my presence into the surrounding space the more persistent and annoyed the white female in question becomes.

It’s as if the woman senses there’s something going on between us but her attitude prevents her from entertaining the idea that we could be a couple. In most cases if the man you’re interested about is in the company of another woman laughing and talking one of the first thoughts that should come to mind is “Are they a couple?” You want to know what you’re up against. You would probably try to find out if they are dating, married, or friends. It natural to be curious, but these cases they don’t WANT to know.

The more my husband tries to shrugged them off the more persistent they become! Usually I can catch when a women has scoped him out. When this happens I usually start calling him honey and baby. Other times my husband takes the initiative and “volunteers” to get something we don’t need from another aisle or department. I agree and give a quick glance to the woman in question. She realizes that the show was for her benefit and she moves on.

It makes want to bite and scratch when this nonsense happens. Here’s a few reason why:

  • A) They assume since I’m black we’re NOT a couple.
  • B) Before we met, these women wouldn’t have given him a second glance.
  • C) The attention received was not prompted by my husband nor encouraged.

That’s why when I am out with my husband in public I assert my role. We hold hands and even kiss. YES WE KISS. Once my husband kissed me as we parted lips I saw a young black man with his jaw hanging, dumbfounded. I used to be passive about the behavior of these types of women but I know I have to make it clear that I’m NOT going to take the bullshit anymore.

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